Devotee Gifts

A man desperate to keep his girlfriend

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Thomas Hardy

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

You're the olive in my martini

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

I am your BIGGEST fan!

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

"Dear diary...Well at least I'm not having to watch the Oscars."

The Blob's Blog.

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

"Spoiler alert...Z."

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

Thesaurus Publishing: In a Meeting, Gathering, Conference, Forum, Discussion.

'The coalition of the willing.'

One book... One book... One book...

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

Thesaurus Publishing: Push, Shove, Thrust, Nudge.

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

Dear Diary

"I don't like playing Scrabble with Gracie! She totally makes up all kinds of crazy words! And they're always in the dictionary!"

Samuel Johnson