Devotee T-Shirts

A man desperate to keep his girlfriend

Wordplay: Gastropod.

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Thomas Hardy

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

You're the olive in my martini

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

I am your BIGGEST fan!

The Blob's Blog.

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

"Spoiler alert...Z."

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

Thesaurus Publishing: In a Meeting, Gathering, Conference, Forum, Discussion.

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

'The coalition of the willing.'

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

One book... One book... One book...

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

Thesaurus Publishing: Push, Shove, Thrust, Nudge.

Dear Diary

Samuel Johnson

Sir Edmund Hillary Arriving Home To His Third Floor Apartment