Devilish Tourist Gifts

'Damned tourists.'

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

"We have all the brochures, but we can't decide if we want to die on Mt. Everest or Mt. McKinley."

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Statue is moved to hold up the leaning tower of Pisa.

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

Touring Holidays - On the P***

At this exact location on May 23rd 1957, a bunch of people mounted this plaque to commemorate a surplus of funding for the Commemorative Plaque Society.

Parisian Misguided Tours.

Limbo Day at the Palace

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

Woman painting a man drowning.

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

'You are now entering Crenton, the city with the most intriguing 'You are now leaving' sign.'

'I want to ship Daddy to all the places he missed visiting, because he was working so hard to accumulate the estate I just inherited.'

"There are no direct flights, so we're booked on the Scenic Tour of East Coast airports."

'When we get to the middle will you then admit your sat nav is useless?'

"A banker?! But that means you don't even HAVE a soulll. . . Damn it - for once the human wins."

"Excuse me, Sir - could you photobomb our picture?"

After years of saving...Larry finally visits the mysterious 'Doorhenge'.

'Sir, the Arctic offseason is 24-hour night, and the temperature below zero!'

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

'What? At least, it's a more original souvenir than one of those stupid plastic Eiffel towers!'

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.

"The following report contains images some viewers may find disturbing. . .so pay attention."

Carl's Glass- Bottom Bus Tours