Detective Of Romance Games Pillows

My phone's ringing. Don't touch it! Huh? Ring! Ring! Ring! It's Laurel. I called her two hours ago and she's finally calling me back. Aren't you going to answer it? Are you crazy?! She needs to suffer! This sort of gamesmanship is why my longest relationship was nine hours. I'm setting a tone for the next two years.

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

A boy acting suspiciously

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

scrabble love

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Am I through to the next round?"

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

Young man and young lady talking flirtatiously over a game of billiards

"Is there anyone else in your life I should know about?"

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"There's a rumour going around my head that you don't love me."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

'Roger, I think we need to talk about your trouble with intimacy.'

"It's not what you think."

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

"We're compatible in every way. That's my concern; we have nothing to argue about."

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

"For once I'd like to go on a date where she made eye contact instead of iPhone contact."

X. O. Whaddaya say we take a break from tic-tac-toe for some hugs 'n' kisses?

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

'I don't know what they see in her. . . I think I'll take a closer look.'

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'