Designated Driving Pillows

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Boozing and Cruising

Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"Darling, I'll drive tonight so that you can have a drink..."

'I'm drinking, you're driving - how come you're so happy?'

"I'm the designated driver."

"Thank goodness for rear-engine cars!"

"It's O.K., I've got his car keys."

No Car Bar.

'Now that Sir has approved the wine, would Madam care to taste the water?'

'With all the cars being stolen these days, I went out and bought the strongest security system I could afford.'

How was my emergency stop?

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

Nerds night out: 'Dibs on Designated Driver.'

"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."

"No designated driver for me. My last one committed road rage!"

Drink kills.

"I don't believe I care for anything, thank, you. I'm just in their car pool."

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'

"Just water for me I'm the designated driver."

'No thanks. I don't drink when I'm driving home a point.'

Designated Drivers Area

Drinker at bar: 'No more for me, thanks. Any more and I slur the words I'm texting in the car...'

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

"I'm the designated driver."

'No more for him mate. He's driving.'

'Directions? You just wanted directions?'

Driver sees 'Yield' road sign as tank is on road in which car merges.

'Oh! You've passed the breathalyzer test.' 'I KNEW IT! that pub's watering down its whisky!'

'I certainly don't get tailgated anymore!'

'Your mom as our designated driver, man, is sure putting a damper on our fun!'

'Why am I always the designated driver?'