Designated Driver Heroics Pillows

"Just water for me I'm the designated driver."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

Boozing and Cruising

Say speed

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

"Well, come on Son, don't keep us in suspense. Did you pass your driving test?"

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

Way to go

"Thank goodness for rear-engine cars!"

'I'm drinking, you're driving - how come you're so happy?'

Speed limit 70mph and up.

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"Darling, I'll drive tonight so that you can have a drink..."

"It's O.K., I've got his car keys."

No Car Bar.

"Now remember, after this anointing you need to return every 3 months or 3000 miles."

'Now that Sir has approved the wine, would Madam care to taste the water?'

A 'failed' brake check!

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

'This baby can do zero to sixty in four seconds flat!!'

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

Nerds night out: 'Dibs on Designated Driver.'

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

Truck scale to weigh the truck as well as a 'trucker scale' to weigh the driver

Abandon all hope,you who enter here.

The overly travelled road

"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."

Smart Motorway

Drink kills.

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"