Designated Driver Heroics Gifts

"Just water for me I'm the designated driver."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

Say speed

Boozing and Cruising

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

"Well, come on Son, don't keep us in suspense. Did you pass your driving test?"

Way to go

"Thank goodness for rear-engine cars!"

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

"Darling, I'll drive tonight so that you can have a drink..."

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

Speed limit 70mph and up.

'I'm drinking, you're driving - how come you're so happy?'

A 'failed' brake check!

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

'Now that Sir has approved the wine, would Madam care to taste the water?'

No Car Bar.

"Now remember, after this anointing you need to return every 3 months or 3000 miles."

"It's O.K., I've got his car keys."

'This baby can do zero to sixty in four seconds flat!!'

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

Zap Energy Drinks!

Nerds night out: 'Dibs on Designated Driver.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

Abandon all hope,you who enter here.

The overly travelled road

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

Truck scale to weigh the truck as well as a 'trucker scale' to weigh the driver

"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."

Smart Motorway

Drink kills.