Driving Class Hero Gifts

"Well, come on Son, don't keep us in suspense. Did you pass your driving test?"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Bob's Driving School.

Counting part time employees is the new math.

Children jumping onto mattress in PE.

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

Safe Driving.

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'The penguin is upset...'

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

"She's a high grade teacher."

Boozing and Cruising

'I need both hands for steering.'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

'Ok, class, let's take attendance. Joey?'

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

Fitness Course.

"I need you to line up by attention span."

Learner driver is a crash test dummy.

C.E.O.s deserve respect.

'Right lad, now it's my turn for free expression . . . (I wish!)'

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

"I was thinking, maybe karate isn't for me. Tio Ruben was a golden glove boxer. Maybe I can take up boxing! You don't know anything about boxing, do you, Tia Carmen?"

"Nine and three! Nine and three o’clock!!"

'Now, ease off of the clutch...'

"May I have your attention please???" "NO!!!"