Driving Class Hero Pillows

"Well, come on Son, don't keep us in suspense. Did you pass your driving test?"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Bob's Driving School.

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

Children jumping onto mattress in PE.

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

Safe Driving.

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

Boozing and Cruising

"She's a high grade teacher."

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

'The penguin is upset...'

'I need both hands for steering.'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'Ok, class, let's take attendance. Joey?'

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

Fitness Course.

"I need you to line up by attention span."

Learner driver is a crash test dummy.

'Now, ease off of the clutch...'

'Right lad, now it's my turn for free expression . . . (I wish!)'

"Nine and three! Nine and three o’clock!!"

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

"I was thinking, maybe karate isn't for me. Tio Ruben was a golden glove boxer. Maybe I can take up boxing! You don't know anything about boxing, do you, Tia Carmen?"

C.E.O.s deserve respect.

"May I have your attention please???" "NO!!!"