Driving School Veteran Pillows

Learner driver is a crash test dummy.

Bob's Driving School.

Safe Driving.

'The penguin is upset...'

'I need both hands for steering.'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

"Well, come on Son, don't keep us in suspense. Did you pass your driving test?"

Show Jumping Tantrums

'Now, ease off of the clutch...'

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

'Can you get out and parallel park for me? I'm not good at it.'

"You know how some writers are known as 'writer's writers'? I'm what's known as a 'driving instructor.' "

'I know that I told you not to hog the crown of the road, but this is ridiculous!'

"Good boy. Now speed up a little and try sticking your head out even farther."

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

'Aren't you going to teach me how to drive while texting?'

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

'Dad thought it would be safer if I started with a golf cart.'

"Don't cry this time, it is off putting."

"I don't care about the test. Put the bloody breaks on!"

'Check your blind spot'

'You say that you were taught by your dad. Is he a cabbie by any chance?'

'They can also be used to keep an eye on the traffic around you.'

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

'Was that a red light? You should know that it is highly unethical to take liberties just because the instructor is drunk...'

'. . .while we are waiting fro the breakdown truck, ask no questions on the highway code.'

'How do you spell 'failed'?'

'You call that teaching?'

"Ten and Two? What's the digital equivalent?"

'First things first, Son. 'Clunk-Click, every trip.''

'Of course I can hear the engine knocking, that's why I've turned the music up!'

"At the next planet I'd like you to press destroy."

"And remember, the hand position on the steering wheel is 10 & 2, 9 & 3 and 8 & 4.""