Driving School Veteran Gifts

Learner driver is a crash test dummy.

Bob's Driving School.

Safe Driving.

'The penguin is upset...'

'I need both hands for steering.'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

"Well, come on Son, don't keep us in suspense. Did you pass your driving test?"

Show Jumping Tantrums

'Now, ease off of the clutch...'

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

'Can you get out and parallel park for me? I'm not good at it.'

'I know that I told you not to hog the crown of the road, but this is ridiculous!'

"You know how some writers are known as 'writer's writers'? I'm what's known as a 'driving instructor.' "

"Good boy. Now speed up a little and try sticking your head out even farther."

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

'Aren't you going to teach me how to drive while texting?'

'They can also be used to keep an eye on the traffic around you.'

'Dad thought it would be safer if I started with a golf cart.'

'Check your blind spot'

'You say that you were taught by your dad. Is he a cabbie by any chance?'

"Don't cry this time, it is off putting."

"I don't care about the test. Put the bloody breaks on!"

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

'Okay, at the T in the road, go straight.'

'Was that a red light? You should know that it is highly unethical to take liberties just because the instructor is drunk...'

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

"And remember, the hand position on the steering wheel is 10 & 2, 9 & 3 and 8 & 4.""

'First things first, Son. 'Clunk-Click, every trip.''

'You call that teaching?'

'. . .while we are waiting fro the breakdown truck, ask no questions on the highway code.'

'How do you spell 'failed'?'

Distracted Driver

"Ten and Two? What's the digital equivalent?"

'Of course I can hear the engine knocking, that's why I've turned the music up!'