Driving Teacher Gifts

"Good boy. Now speed up a little and try sticking your head out even farther."

"No, defensive driving does not mean you hit the other guy first!"

'Aren't you going to teach me how to drive while texting?'

'Fortunately, the only person hit was a snowman. . .'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'I need both hands for steering.'

'It's completely normal to be nervous on your road test. Now, accelerate to 35mph and hit that wall.'

'Not much point in asking you questions on the Highway Code now, is there?'

'. . .while we are waiting fro the breakdown truck, ask no questions on the highway code.'

'You say that you were taught by your dad. Is he a cabbie by any chance?'

'Check your blind spot'

'We may need to work on your emergency stop.'

'I know that I told you not to hog the crown of the road, but this is ridiculous!'

'You call that teaching?'

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

"You are doing 53 in a 35 zone."

"Don't cry this time, it is off putting."

'First things first, Son. 'Clunk-Click, every trip.''

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

"You know how some writers are known as 'writer's writers'? I'm what's known as a 'driving instructor.' "

'How do you spell 'failed'?'

'Anyone going slower than you, you call an idiot. Anyone going faster than you, you call a maniac.'

Distracted Driver

"The Accelerator."

"Ten and Two? What's the digital equivalent?"

'Of course I can hear the engine knocking, that's why I've turned the music up!'

Never marry a driving instructor.

"I asked you to do a 3-point turn. What you've done is a full 12-point penalty turn!"

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

"There's that funny squealing again - I think it's coming from your side."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.