Designated Driver Gifts

'Oh! You've passed the breathalyzer test.' 'I KNEW IT! that pub's watering down its whisky!'

"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."

"Okay, now you can take my keys."

No Car Bar.

"If I'd known they had so little to drink I'd have brought the car."

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

'Now that Sir has approved the wine, would Madam care to taste the water?'

'Why am I always the designated driver?'

"No designated driver for me. My last one committed road rage!"

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Better times ahead.

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

The last Passenger Pigeon

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

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