Designated Driver Enthusiast Gifts

'I was the designated driver. Everyone else decided to take a room at the hotel next door.'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Man helping a mini learner driver

'The penguin is upset...'

Boozing and Cruising

I love my motor.

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

'It was HIS fault, he was doing the SPEED LIMIT!'

"Darling, I'll drive tonight so that you can have a drink..."

"You can turn your blinker off now, Senator."

'I'm drinking, you're driving - how come you're so happy?'

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

Warning, It's raining cats and dogs.

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

Stone Age Driving Test

Name stickers on car windscreen.

'Now that Sir has approved the wine, would Madam care to taste the water?'

"It's O.K., I've got his car keys."

No Car Bar.

Student tower pulling along a student driver.

"Do you think the atmosphere would be better if the roof was closed?"

"You call that teaching."

I don't brake for tail gators.

'I had to go that fast in order to keep that nut from passing me!'

New driving hazards perception test....'I've crashed the computer.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"You're very courteous for a hog"

"Aside from the foot, do you think my parking's getting better?"

"And now I'd like you to eat a chicken and mayonnaise sandwich shile answering your mobile."

"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."

'It's green, you color-blind, flea-bitten bonehead! Where'd you learn to drive?'