Designated Driver Champs Pillows

'I'm drinking, you're driving - how come you're so happy?'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Boozing and Cruising

"Well, come on Son, don't keep us in suspense. Did you pass your driving test?"

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

"Thank goodness for rear-engine cars!"

"I'm the designated driver."

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

No Car Bar.

Fast food

'Now that Sir has approved the wine, would Madam care to taste the water?'

Nerds night out: 'Dibs on Designated Driver.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."

"I don't believe I care for anything, thank, you. I'm just in their car pool."

Drink kills.

"No designated driver for me. My last one committed road rage!"

"Just water for me I'm the designated driver."

They never did find any weapons of mass destruction...

Designated Drivers Area

Drinker at bar: 'No more for me, thanks. Any more and I slur the words I'm texting in the car...'

'No thanks. I don't drink when I'm driving home a point.'

'Oh! You've passed the breathalyzer test.' 'I KNEW IT! that pub's watering down its whisky!'

Driver sees 'Yield' road sign as tank is on road in which car merges.

'Your mom as our designated driver, man, is sure putting a damper on our fun!'

"If I'd known they had so little to drink I'd have brought the car."

Captain Pointy No.40 - Boomerang Darts

'Why am I always the designated driver?'

"Before I have anymore, who's driving tonight, me or you"

"You've had six accidents?"

'After chauffeuring the kids around for years, this business seemed like a natural!'

Designated driver at a party.

'This one is for not complaining about being stretched too think handling domestic and foreign crises.'

' But it's Thursday ! Tonight can't be made for love. Thursdays are for darts - Saturdays are for love '.

"Ok lads, not a word about the darts tournament. . . As far as our wives are concerned, we've been at a loot and plunderer seminar in Oslo."