Designated Driver Debates Pillows

Nerds night out: 'Dibs on Designated Driver.'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

'I'm drinking, you're driving - how come you're so happy?'

"Darling, I'll drive tonight so that you can have a drink..."

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

No Car Bar.

'Now that Sir has approved the wine, would Madam care to taste the water?'

"It's O.K., I've got his car keys."

'Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir?'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"

Drink kills.

"I don't believe I care for anything, thank, you. I'm just in their car pool."

"No designated driver for me. My last one committed road rage!"

"Just water for me I'm the designated driver."

Drinker at bar: 'No more for me, thanks. Any more and I slur the words I'm texting in the car...'

'No more for him mate. He's driving.'

"I'm the designated driver."

'No thanks. I don't drink when I'm driving home a point.'

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

'After the break...Zebra crossings: safe havens or dangerous deathtraps? We talk to a number of concerned individuals who think that crossings should be abolished.'

Driver sees 'Yield' road sign as tank is on road in which car merges.

'Oh! You've passed the breathalyzer test.' 'I KNEW IT! that pub's watering down its whisky!'

'Your mom as our designated driver, man, is sure putting a damper on our fun!'

"Before I have anymore, who's driving tonight, me or you"

I'm giving you a parking ticket!

What women believe vs. what men believe.

"If I'd known they had so little to drink I'd have brought the car."

Designated driver at a party.

'Safety' Cameras are not for profit.

"OK, that's enough for today. I think he's learned his lesson."

'Why am I always the designated driver?'