Department Stores Gifts

"An impressive resume, General, but remember - department-store security is different from national security."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

'How much would you take off for cash?'

Western Outfitters.

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'Do you have it in black?'

Sketches by Boz - Monmouth Street

A tailor measuring a large man

Pharmacy School. We're having a pop quiz. I should have known there'd be surprise drug tests in pharmacy school.

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

As models become skinnier, so do the mannequins.

Merger at 28th and Lex

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

"It's expensive because it connects to the internet."

'Do you have any duck tape?'

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

Men see an old lady in a round hat from the back and think she is a pretty young lady.

"Relax, I'm coming for the suit."

'No thanks, just looking.'

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"You see, sir? It fits you like a glove!"

Super Homeworld

Children line up to talk to Santa

Crocodile with man logo on polo

What were you thinking when you bought this re-sale shop.

I'm sorry, they don't make dresses large on the inside and small on the outside!

The Emporer's Clothes Boutique

'It's goose down!'