Department Stores Pillows

"An impressive resume, General, but remember - department-store security is different from national security."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

Western Outfitters.

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

A tailor measuring a large man

Sketches by Boz - Monmouth Street

Merger at 28th and Lex

"It's expensive because it connects to the internet."

As models become skinnier, so do the mannequins.

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

"Relax, I'm coming for the suit."

Men see an old lady in a round hat from the back and think she is a pretty young lady.

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

'Do you have any duck tape?'

'No thanks, just looking.'

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"You see, sir? It fits you like a glove!"

Super Homeworld

Children line up to talk to Santa

'That bacon sarnie fragrance gets them every time!'

The Emporer's Clothes Boutique

"Do you do these in sheep?"

A tight skirt makes a woman look slim!

''Get a life' was last year! This year it's 'get a while bunch of lives!''

What were you thinking when you bought this re-sale shop.

I'm sorry, they don't make dresses large on the inside and small on the outside!