Department Store Santa Gifts

"The knees are the first to go."

"One day full on, and then 364 days without work...I've had enough of the ruddy gig economy."

'Cranston called in sick ... said he's got the 'Bah, Humbug'.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

Santa's wash day.

Man with desk wrapped as a Christmas present.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'Sorry I'm not at the meeting, sir

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Until you're top management, Warrick, I strongly suggest you stay within the lines."

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

Hip hop Santa.

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

Nutcracker Desk Organizers

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

Security Dept. Keep. Out.

". . . and then I realize everybody in the room has their phones set to 'ignore.'"

The Old Elves Home

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

C.P.A.

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

Guy in center cubicle spying on others.

"We get three wishes. Let's not waste them on something like 'Better coffee in the break room'."

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

'Don't think my knees can take much more of this Santa's grotto job...'

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

"Slow down, I want to take a peek in Barneys!"