Department Store Santa T-Shirts

"The knees are the first to go."

"One day full on, and then 364 days without work...I've had enough of the ruddy gig economy."

'Cranston called in sick ... said he's got the 'Bah, Humbug'.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

Santa's wash day.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'Sorry I'm not at the meeting, sir

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Until you're top management, Warrick, I strongly suggest you stay within the lines."

Nutcracker Desk Organizers

Hip hop Santa.

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

". . . and then I realize everybody in the room has their phones set to 'ignore.'"

Security Dept. Keep. Out.

C.P.A.

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

The Old Elves Home

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

Guy in center cubicle spying on others.

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

'Don't think my knees can take much more of this Santa's grotto job...'

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

"We get three wishes. Let's not waste them on something like 'Better coffee in the break room'."

"Slow down, I want to take a peek in Barneys!"

"Now I have to change my dog's name so I can remember my new password."