Demographics Guru Gifts

"Other than your utter lack of support from the 18 to 90 year-old demographic, we're looking real good."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'Here's MY information highway!'

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

World Production.

Population rocket

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

DNA Analysis.

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

"Let's see now. This one goes right here."

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

The Problem with World Population Growth

Catch and release dating.

I've always been slower than computers...

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

Businessman dreaming of pie charts when he sees a pizza.

Don't worry, if things don't work out in America we can always take the Bering Land Bridge back to Asia.

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

U.S. demographic affecting senate representation.

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

Never forget the magic asterisk...