Decaf Drinker Gifts

'Next time try decaf.'

"Hey! Hey! Don't give ME attitude. I specifically asked for DECAF!"

Eternal Student.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

You've Had Enough!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Writers without borders.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'What's holding him up?'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

"How about a little more coffee?"

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'You've had enough.'

Coffee Menu

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

The Nihilist Deli.

"Well, we can tackle this now when we're exhausted from the week or wait until Monday when we're exhausted from the weekend."

"I tried being a stay-at-home dad. But I found out that being a stay-at-work dad is far less stressful."

Too Much Coffee Man

Mums coffee morning

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."