Decaf Detractor Gifts

Ancient Torture Device

Rip Van Winkle shouldn't have switched to that new gourmet ultra-decaffeinated coffee.

Wifi in Hell

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

The Nihilist Deli.

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'It may have been a mistake switching the coffee to decaffeinated.'

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'Sure, sure... I'm having a great vacation.'

'This decaf's lousy.'

"I still think it's a shame they didn't run Bernie. We've never had a POTUS like him. We've had cool presidents, awkward presidents, dignified presidents, goofy presidents... But we've never had a curmudgeonly president."

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

"Hey! Hey! Don't give ME attitude. I specifically asked for DECAF!"

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'

'We're sorry we served you caffeinated coffee. Please accept this sleeping pill with the compliments of the management.'

The Decafé

The AdRams Family no.17 - Chatroom identities

'I believe in living life to the fullest.'

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

'Every dog has his day - But the nights belong to us.'

"Decaf, too?"

"You know, I really am a lot more relaxed since switching to decaf with a shot of vodka."

Supermarket Self Service Checkout

'I'll have the decaf. Twenty-one second graders will provide me with enough stimulation.'

'Next time try decaf.'

I Love You, Man! Dude, that's just the catnip talking.

'May I have five bucks for a hot chocolate, sir? †coffee makes me nervous.'

'Herb has gone 100 caffeine-free.'

"Decaf... I distincly ordered DECAF..."

"Everyone's complaining about the food, the orders are all mixed up...what's going on back here, anyway?"

Vanilla ice cream topped with heavy sarcasm.

'I didn't get your message because I'm letting my voice mailbox fill up.'