Decaf Lovers Gifts

'Herb has gone 100 caffeine-free.'

Eternal Student.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Burning the midnight oil.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Man's best friends."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"I'm losing my patience with you."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

You've Had Enough!

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Allegro con molto espresso

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Joined at the hipster.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

Writers without borders.

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'What's holding him up?'

Broken Alarm Clock.