Decaf Coffee Gifts

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Eternal Student.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Selling lemon latt�

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

Multi-tasking.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"At this office no two days are different."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'These are job perks.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Man's best friends."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Today's special... donuts.

Back to work...

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"