Decaf Detective Gifts

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

Who stole my candy?

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'It may have been a mistake switching the coffee to decaffeinated.'

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"We need to talk about procrastination."

'This decaf's lousy.'

Testing the Big Bangs theory.

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

"Hey! Hey! Don't give ME attitude. I specifically asked for DECAF!"

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'

'We're sorry we served you caffeinated coffee. Please accept this sleeping pill with the compliments of the management.'

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

"You can use Dave's cubicle. He has Seasonal Affective Disorder and won't be using it this winter. Whoa! I guess I'm wrong. There he is, hibernating under the desk!"

The Decafé

'I became an astronaut for the sex, and now you tell me it's forbidden!'

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar."

"Decaf. They can't be far away."

'Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere.'

'I wonder if anyone will miss me after I'm gone?' 'Would you like to pay your bar tab now?'

Ancient Torture Device

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

'Someone must have done it after hours.'

"Students...we had some changes over summer. The good news is our classroom size has been cut by 15 percent! The bad news...our desk budget has been cut by 40 percent!"