Decaf Drinker Pillows

'Next time try decaf.'

"Decaf, too?"

"Hey! Hey! Don't give ME attitude. I specifically asked for DECAF!"

Eternal Student.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

You've Had Enough!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Writers without borders.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'What's holding him up?'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

National Coffee Day

'You've had enough!'

"How about a little more coffee?"

'You've had enough.'

'What do you mean these aren't donut holes'

Coffee Menu

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

Sermon on the Grounds...

The Nihilist Deli.

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

Mums coffee morning