Dealing With Restrictions Gifts

"Eat up your pudding love and that's Christmas over."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

PEP TALKS!

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

I guess I just assumed we'd skip Take your child to work day this year. Chips.

...7...6...5...4...3...2...1... MIDNIGHT!

Covid Garbage Dump

"What say we make this one of those 'some days you get the bear' days?"

"My lab tests are in. I'm lactose intolerant."

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

"That does it! California is on the naughty list!"

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

"I'm giving up chocolate for lent."

'And ask the chef to run his blender as he cooks that steak. My doctor has put me on a liquid diet.'

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

The Sprats

Gluten-free area.

Skeleton staff. No food to be consumed on these premises.

"It's the only organic lacto-vegan menu I could find that fitted into the firms Christmas meal budget."

"So weird not wearing a mask."

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

"I asked for something gluten-free, dairy-free and meat-free and he brought me a glass of water."

Lifting of Coronavirus Restrictions

"Hey Rayna! I got you some chocolate milk!"

I'm allergic to cookie dough and I'm lactose intolerant, but I appreciate the thought. Thanks. -S. Claus.

"Sorry, dear. I couldn't find a gluten or lactose-free sugarless non-GMO raw-vegan birthday cake..." "Tell me that's a nutless mulch muffin."

'If it tastes good, spit it out!'

She's just discovered her irritable bowel syndrome isn't caused by chocolate!

COVID Summer

"Hi. I'm the bridge you said you'd cross when you came it."

'The Government says we have to list all ingredients -- What's your social security number?'

'Cuts are everywhere these days, mate.'