Dating Humor Seeker Pillows

I'm used to seeing crocodile tears when I tell off a man in this bar, but this is the first time I've seen crocodile exclamation points. ! !

'Sure, there's plenty more fish in the sea, but I'm a mammal: It's harder to find a date...'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'Fetch.'

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

Transylvanian backpackers.

Giraffe Umbrella

The Runaway Horse

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

A caveman paints from life

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

National Everything Awareness Day

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."