Dating Humor Fan Pillows

'This is not what I meant when I said we were going dutch.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Ah non, madame, this is your economy class Englishman. Anything with a chin on it will cost you twice as much!"

'Hey good lookin' come here often?'

-and which one's your bird?

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

Life is for the birds.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

"I do want to talk about your feelings but first let's talk about cheese."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

'Marry me!'

"Manfred, don't get so defensive!"

"You need a mint."

"Ogden, you're taking yourself too damn seriously."

'Sorry, I'm afraid it was a false alarm. It turns out that 'the emergency gas leak' was my husband.'

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

'Your wife called while you were out, sir -- she loves you and wants to know where the hell you put the car keys.'

"What the hell do you mean you don't think it's mine?!"