Dating Humorous Pillows

'The Frog prince makes his move'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

"I do want to talk about your feelings but first let's talk about cheese."

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

"You need a mint."

"So Dave - did you get lucky? Dave....? Dave...?"

He's Tasty!

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

Another last "first date" for Daphne "...and here's kitty peeking out of a shoe box. Oh! And here he is playing with a dead birdie! Oh how cute! Here's Kitty looking around a corner! And..."

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."

I'm used to seeing crocodile tears when I tell off a man in this bar, but this is the first time I've seen crocodile exclamation points. ! !

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

"Sorry, I don't date older men."

'This is not what I meant when I said we were going dutch.'

"Well of course I'm nervous....what if I chat her up only to find out she's my ex?"

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

"Suddenly I can't think of anything to chirp."

Why worms have no confidence

'You certainly are a lady-killer - I'm almost starved to death!'

'I know you've heard about how we roosters get around, but believe me, I'm a one-chicken guy.'

'You'd better go home now, Ted -- I'm beginning to feel lonesome.'

I brought a little ice breaker.'

"I thought it was a place to pick up some chicks, but NOOOOO!"

"I'm invisible to all men."

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'Hey good lookin' come here often?'

'I take it you don't want me to come in for a drink.'