Dating Dilemmatician Gifts

You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? I met this really awesome lady. I think about her daily. And I know she's thinking about me. But she told me she's also thinking about some other guy. What's the best way to not mind her thinking about him, while still enjoying the thought that she's thinking about me? You'll be fine if you think to yourself the other guy is nothing but a fleeting thought she's thinking of. You think?

Life is for the birds.

"You owe me five bucks."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

Love Bites: The Dating Game - "No, he loves me more!"

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

'This isn't the kind of animal magnetism I like in a man, Frank.'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

'It's silly to jump at the first man who comes along.'

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

'How was my date?...It went OK. He paid for dinner, and he floats. I suppose that has to count for something.'

It's a thin line between judge and chaperone, your honor. Try not to cross it. !

I had a great time tonight, and I'd like to see you again in 4-6 months. When doctors date.

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

"I was being myself like you advised. That's when she dumped me!"

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

Good knight ... sweet prince. She's trying to decide who to date.

'Well, as much as I think one glass of lager all night merits a second date, on this occasion I think I'll decline.'

"She dumped me the minute I flunked out of medical school."

"Oh super! Why do I always draw the short straw?!"

"...Yes, I do. But, I also believe in hate at first sight."

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

"We can't go back to my place the cops are digging up the basement."