Dating Dramalist Gifts

'Yes, it is a wonder-bra Kevin. I think it's wondering what I'm doing out with a geek like you.'

"You owe me five bucks."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'This isn't the kind of animal magnetism I like in a man, Frank.'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

Love Bites: The Dating Game - "No, he loves me more!"

"I'm sorry Sharon, I couldn't possibly come in for unprotected coffee."

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

'I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately.'

'Never mind the dramatics, Watkins. Just read the treasurer's report.'

It's a thin line between judge and chaperone, your honor. Try not to cross it. !

'I'd invite you in, but I've given up jackasses for Lent.'

"I'll consider your proposal, but first I need a second opinion from your ex-wife."

'You need to do more than rustle your plumage, sir, to woo me.'

No pressure

"Oh super! Why do I always draw the short straw?!"

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

"We can't go back to my place the cops are digging up the basement."

'I've just discovered how much we two have in common - including my boyfriend!'

It's not you, Tom. It's your, ah, um...'

'But enough about me, now let's talk about your money.'

Sado-masochistic beauty rituals.

"I feel like I have all this anger inside but no one special to share it with."

Drawing the Short Straw.

'How about giving me your phone number?. . . But I don't know your name.'

'Don't take it personally Dave, I'm just not into guys with ponytails.'

"Hell, I'm from the dating agency. Can I move in with you."

Speed Dating/Speed Dumping

"Wanna go out sometime – soon?"

It's the same old story...boy meets girl, boy loses girl, girl rips boy to pieces on a nationally syndicated talk show!

"It's not you, Frank, it's me - I don't like you."