Dating Dramatists Gifts

"Oh super! Why do I always draw the short straw?!"

"Sorry, but I'm in a relationship at the moment so it's going to have to be your place."

"You owe me five bucks."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

"Accepting for..."

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

Love Bites: The Dating Game - "No, he loves me more!"

'This isn't the kind of animal magnetism I like in a man, Frank.'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Another triple, Joe -I'm trying to forget several women.'

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

'I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately.'

Yenta Theatre Presents: Waiting for Godot

'On TV they play dramatic music as the contestants enter the ring'

'Never mind the dramatics, Watkins. Just read the treasurer's report.'

"There's been a few changes since I was last here."

"I'll consider your proposal, but first I need a second opinion from your ex-wife."

'I'd invite you in, but I've given up jackasses for Lent.'

Housewives meet Top Chef

"All the world’s a stage, and we merely the actors/waiters."

Lady with an inflatable dinner date.

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

'You need to do more than rustle your plumage, sir, to woo me.'

'This place has gone a bit down market since they got a new landlord!'

"I'm sorry- I was wrong."

"We can't go back to my place the cops are digging up the basement."

'I've just discovered how much we two have in common - including my boyfriend!'