Dating Dilemmist Gifts

'I haven't seen him in six months -- I like that in a man.'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

'It's silly to jump at the first man who comes along.'

'How was my date?...It went OK. He paid for dinner, and he floats. I suppose that has to count for something.'

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

'You will meet a tall, dark and handsome man, but you will dump him for a short, chubby, goofy looking doctor.'

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

I had a great time tonight, and I'd like to see you again in 4-6 months. When doctors date.

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

Good knight ... sweet prince. She's trying to decide who to date.

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

Weddings...

I always strike out on blind dates

'And then he yells MAN EATER and I say, MAN EATER?! MOI?!!'

'I'd offer you a ride home, but my car's only a one-seater.'

"After looking up my password, completing two-step verification, and proving I'm not a robot, I forget why I went to this website!"

All trails go nowhere.

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

Your body language says "no," but your cranial punctuation says "hubba-hubba!" ! !

"I like that you refuse to be defined by your generation."

'Damn, this guy swiped my pick up line.'