Dating Quandaries Gifts

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Life is for the birds.

Speed Dating for Turtles

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Try a danged head shot!"

"I mean it this time Brian, it's either me or the jazz!"

Spud dating.

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

Florist. You're taking your new girlfriend to the aviary for Valentine's Day? Yes -- It's a cheap date.

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

'...by using lightning and the flesh of the undead. Luckily, he turned out to be a charming fellow and brilliant raconteur.'

"Why do you always fall for these totally unobtainable types?"

Ventrilamatch.com

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

"O.K. Where is he?"

"We were two ships that passed in the night for a couple of nights in a row."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

Weddings...

"I want to break up, but he's got an espresso machine."

I always strike out on blind dates

"I've never dated a yam before, tell me a bit about yourself."

"Yeah sure I know Santa."

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

'I'd offer you a ride home, but my car's only a one-seater.'

"I like that you refuse to be defined by your generation."

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

"Your look of total bewilderment - does it run in the family?"

"No, I can't come out tonight, Darren. I'm washing my hair."

'Do you always dress like this on the first date?'

"I swear, the only decent men around here are either married...or gay...or they're one of my ex-husbands!"

'Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...'

"Nice to meet you. I only date during the off-season"

"Great legs, good cook, and not half bad in the sack, but hopelessly tied to his mother's apron strings."