Dating Woes Gifts

I always strike out on blind dates

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

Life is for the birds.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Romance

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

So Close..

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Right click for yes...

'Cow in love'

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Do you mind?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"