Dating Struggles Gifts

Life is for the birds.

I've been on cheap dates before, but riding elevators and listening to the Muzak..

'Don't complain. I've been trying to meet a mindless robot.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

So Close..

Romance

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Right click for yes...

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'Cow in love'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Powerful Love.

"Call me?"

"I love you, you big fool."

"First date hairball... awkward."