Dating Disasters Gifts

'Sorry, the GSOH in my ad stood for 'Got Syphilis On Holiday'.'

"Now you wouldn't want me to go through life without experiencing the joys of Father's Day... would you?

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I knew I should've swiped left."

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

I'm an investor. My star sign is predator.

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

I always strike out on blind dates

"Besides it having no atmosphere, this restaurant seems to have a very bad attitude."

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

"He was a lousy date!"

'It's been an interesting evening. Do you mind if I use your ledge for a minute?'

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

A young man creating an awkward silence

Twenty thousand leagues out of his league

"I always thought you'd look great, covered in spiders."

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

"I see you've never dated a clairvoyant before."