Dating Quandaries Pillows

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Life is for the birds.

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

Spud dating.

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

"Why do you always fall for these totally unobtainable types?"

'...by using lightning and the flesh of the undead. Luckily, he turned out to be a charming fellow and brilliant raconteur.'

Ventrilamatch.com

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

"O.K. Where is he?"

I always strike out on blind dates

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Weddings...

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Yeah sure I know Santa."

"I've never dated a yam before, tell me a bit about yourself."

"We were two ships that passed in the night for a couple of nights in a row."

"I want to break up, but he's got an espresso machine."

'I'd offer you a ride home, but my car's only a one-seater.'

'Do you always dress like this on the first date?'

"Your look of total bewilderment - does it run in the family?"

"No, I can't come out tonight, Darren. I'm washing my hair."

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

"I like that you refuse to be defined by your generation."

"Nice to meet you. I only date during the off-season"

"I swear, the only decent men around here are either married...or gay...or they're one of my ex-husbands!"

"Great legs, good cook, and not half bad in the sack, but hopelessly tied to his mother's apron strings."

'Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...'

Randy's dating secrets #289: When your date says 'What're you thinking about,' you must be able to answer.