Dating Dilemma Enjoyer Pillows

Dating: 'A nose that lights up doesn't do it for me.'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"You lack spontaniety."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

"Your profile said you were a dog."

Ostrich Bar

Romantic Coffee Dates

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

Alligator Bars

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"We pointed, but we never clicked."

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

Speed Dating