Dating Dilemmas Fan Gifts

'I'd offer you a ride home, but my car's only a one-seater.'

"She's just being Koi."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

"Which would you prefer - coming under fire or being raked over the coals?"

Advent fridge

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

Weddings...

I always strike out on blind dates

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

"No, I can't come out tonight, Darren. I'm washing my hair."

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

A young man creating an awkward silence

"I like that you refuse to be defined by your generation."

I'm in a quandary, Ann. On the one hand, I was hoping to have "the most fun you can have without laughing" tonight. On the other hand, this being a comic strip, going for laughs is the whole idea. What would Beetle Bailey do?

Mona Lisa in a bar: 'Forget it, Ted...she's way out of your league!'

"I swear, the only decent men around here are either married...or gay...or they're one of my ex-husbands!"

'Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...'

Randy's dating secrets #289: When your date says 'What're you thinking about,' you must be able to answer.

'I haven't seen him in six months -- I like that in a man.'

Dating: 'A nose that lights up doesn't do it for me.'

"Take you for granted? Jerome, I’ve always thought of you as my No. 1 backup date."

'I finally found Mr Right!'

'Yes, Jeff. I'm sure I will see you again. Probably on the FBI's 'most wanted' list!'

Lovematch Dating . . . Please wait here.

'Oh, I don't know -- Where do you want to go tonight?'

'That's it? I pour my heart out and all you can say is 'aargh'?'