Dating Dilemmas Fan Gifts

'I'd offer you a ride home, but my car's only a one-seater.'

"She's just being Koi."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

"Which would you prefer - coming under fire or being raked over the coals?"

Advent fridge

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

Weddings...

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

I always strike out on blind dates

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

"No, I can't come out tonight, Darren. I'm washing my hair."

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

A young man creating an awkward silence

"I like that you refuse to be defined by your generation."

Mona Lisa in a bar: 'Forget it, Ted...she's way out of your league!'

Dating: 'A nose that lights up doesn't do it for me.'

'I finally found Mr Right!'

'I haven't seen him in six months -- I like that in a man.'

Randy's dating secrets #289: When your date says 'What're you thinking about,' you must be able to answer.

"I swear, the only decent men around here are either married...or gay...or they're one of my ex-husbands!"

'Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...'

"Take you for granted? Jerome, I’ve always thought of you as my No. 1 backup date."

'Yes, Jeff. I'm sure I will see you again. Probably on the FBI's 'most wanted' list!'

'That's it? I pour my heart out and all you can say is 'aargh'?'

'Oh, I don't know -- Where do you want to go tonight?'

Lovematch Dating . . . Please wait here.

"By 'take more exercise' I didn't mean 'walking to the takeaway'!"