Dating Dilemmas Admirer Gifts

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

"We pointed, but we never clicked."

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'

"She seems nice. A little clingy... but nice."

"It was love at first sight, except for his ringtone."

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."

Speed Dating

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

'Here we've both been, breaking our necks to meet the right person, and BAM!'