Dating Dilemma Fan Gifts

"No, I can't come out tonight, Darren. I'm washing my hair."

"She's just being Koi."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Joe Hundredaire

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

'It's silly to jump at the first man who comes along.'

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

I always strike out on blind dates

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

Weddings...

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

Advent fridge

"Our privacy policy has changed. Press 'I Agree,' because what are you really going to do about it?"

'I'd offer you a ride home, but my car's only a one-seater.'

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

A young man creating an awkward silence

"I like that you refuse to be defined by your generation."

"It's about this smart T.V. that you sold me, it won't let me watch Love Island."

'In the looks department, Bill is very planed. On our date, we went to a bar and he go me hammered. I got bent out of shape and split. In my opinion, the guy's a bit warped.'

I'm in a quandary, Ann. On the one hand, I was hoping to have "the most fun you can have without laughing" tonight. On the other hand, this being a comic strip, going for laughs is the whole idea. What would Beetle Bailey do?

Mona Lisa in a bar: 'Forget it, Ted...she's way out of your league!'

Dating: 'A nose that lights up doesn't do it for me.'

"I swear, the only decent men around here are either married...or gay...or they're one of my ex-husbands!"

Hypothetically speaking, how would you suggest a normal man attract a spectacular woman? "Normal"? Like you and me. I mean, not all guys can work out six hours a day. Not every man can be a muscle-bound oaf whose only apparent quality is his animal magnetism. I can hear you in there! No offense, Randy!

'Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...'

"Take you for granted? Jerome, I’ve always thought of you as my No. 1 backup date."

'I haven't seen him in six months -- I like that in a man.'