Dating Dilemma Fan Gifts

"No, I can't come out tonight, Darren. I'm washing my hair."

"She's just being Koi."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

Joe Hundredaire

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

'It's silly to jump at the first man who comes along.'

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

Weddings...

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

Advent fridge

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

I always strike out on blind dates

"Our privacy policy has changed. Press 'I Agree,' because what are you really going to do about it?"

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

'I'd offer you a ride home, but my car's only a one-seater.'

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

A young man creating an awkward silence

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

"I like that you refuse to be defined by your generation."

Mona Lisa in a bar: 'Forget it, Ted...she's way out of your league!'

Dating: 'A nose that lights up doesn't do it for me.'

'Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...'

'I finally found Mr Right!'

'I haven't seen him in six months -- I like that in a man.'

"Take you for granted? Jerome, I’ve always thought of you as my No. 1 backup date."

"I swear, the only decent men around here are either married...or gay...or they're one of my ex-husbands!"