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Boyfriend Shirt.

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

Today's love

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

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"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Hold on one second I'm just scrolling through your Instagram to get to know you."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

'He was taller online!'

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

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"At first I thought it must be a typo when your profile said you were 'all mussel'."

Blind date signage - ( the obscured sign reads SLOW)

"The bastard told me he was a pilot."

"Swipe left." Henry VIII

"Do you think she's just playing 'hard to get'?"