Dating App Escapades Gifts

Boyfriend Shirt.

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

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Today's love

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Hold on one second I'm just scrolling through your Instagram to get to know you."

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"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

You're 22 hours early, Lance. I thought I was two hours late. Which do you prefer?

'He was taller online!'

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

"Do you think she's just playing 'hard to get'?"

Online Dating Tip 1: Don't Get Angry

"At first I thought it must be a typo when your profile said you were 'all mussel'."

"The bastard told me he was a pilot."

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

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