Dartboard Comedian Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: darts

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

"You've still got, like, a solid eight inches."

'I've had my eye on you, Johnson, you really know how to scurry about aimlessly.'

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

"Well, they did say half-board."

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

Many clowns in rowboat

Make Your Own

Woman windsurfer wearing a sombrero.

When alcohol and gimmicky restaurants collide.

'Have you heard about the origami shop?'

Point of no return: 'I told you that stupid GPS was defective. Should've returned it when we still had the chance.'

'Wait a second. Since when did they start making life jackets out of burlap?'

'Captain, I see another plane at 10:22.'

Dog on a skateboard.

"I drink coffee for your safety."

Political Pollsters: Time Honoured Methodolgy

"Baldo, you will never flip off people on the highway again...do you hear me?"

Tide-l Wave.

"As you're good with numbers, you can do the scoring in tonight's darts match."

Emergency Sails.

"Sorry, I don't have any beer. The wife cut social benefits and plowed the money into her defence budget..."

"O.K. kid, arts and crafts time - today we’ll be making your ransom note."

I thought it would be a good idea if we reflected on the past year...here are your photo radar tickets.

Bogga Springs - Twinned with Geneva

'The first carpenter really screwed it up...'

"Apparently we are off the right of way."

The Hand Puppet's Dinner

"Vinnie, it's time we send our 'friend' a little message."