Chalkboard Comedian Gifts

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'But I digress...'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'May I say it's a great pleasure to present my work to such a distinquished assembly of my colleagues.'

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'This part was tenure.'

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

"Now that I've made that perfectly clear..."

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

'...Or not.'

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

The History Teacher

'I forgot the question.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

'Charles Darwin explains how he came up with the phrase 'Well I'll be a monkey's uncle'.'

'Is it ‘there's method to my madness' or ‘there's madness to my method?' I always confuse the two.'