Chalkboard Comedian Pillows

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'May I say it's a great pleasure to present my work to such a distinquished assembly of my colleagues.'

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'This part was tenure.'

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

"Now that I've made that perfectly clear..."

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

'...Or not.'

The History Teacher

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

'I forgot the question.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

'Is it ‘there's method to my madness' or ‘there's madness to my method?' I always confuse the two.'

'Charles Darwin explains how he came up with the phrase 'Well I'll be a monkey's uncle'.'

'I march to a different arithmetic.'