Chalkboard Philosopher Pillows

Because she'd always had a crush on the handsome but stupid professor, sometimes at night she'd fix some of his more obvious computational errors.

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

"I've been meaning to talk to you about your attitude, Kleinzweck."

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

"To succeed in my class is easy. Keep quiet, pay attention, and let me concentrate on getting tenure."

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Now that I've made that perfectly clear..."

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

The History Teacher

'Charles Darwin explains how he came up with the phrase 'Well I'll be a monkey's uncle'.'

"Stop being creative and discover something already."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

I will not waste chalk kid...

'Is it ‘there's method to my madness' or ‘there's madness to my method?' I always confuse the two.'

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

'Sir, I was wondering if I could get an extension on my paper?'

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

"He's checking the math for political correctness."

"Thanks for substituting. I left you some private notes in cursive."

'...Or not.'

"Pawn to King Four."

The Teachings of Jesus: Day 1

'Maybe it was a left turn at the last set of traffic lights...?'

Medical School